how do I shift above the line?

To shift above the line, which means moving from a reactive state to a proactive and conscious state of leadership, you can follow a multi-step process as outlined by Matt Mochary:

  1. Acknowledge Your Below-the-Line Thinking: Start by recognizing when your thoughts come from a place of wanting to be right, which Mochary refers to as being "below the line." Verbally express these thoughts to let go of your attachment to them.

  2. Take Responsibility: Move "above the line" by stating what you did to create the situation. This reframing often illuminates what you can do to solve the problem and can lead to an easeful solution.

  3. Examine the Root Causes: If you want to understand why you feel fear or anger, reflect deeply on your childhood to identify when these patterns first appeared. Recognizing that these responses were once useful but may no longer serve you as an adult can be enlightening.

  4. Embrace Curiosity: Ask yourself if you are willing to discover a resolution quickly. If the answer is yes, then you're ready to proceed.

  5. Collaborative Solution-Finding: Engage in a group discussion to discover a solution and make agreements. This involves identifying the issue, discussing it, and coming to a consensus on action items.

The process involves asking yourself questions to help take 100% responsibility, such as:

  • What do you need to be right about?
  • What do you withhold, and from whom?
  • What do you not face, and what feelings do you repress or conceal?
  • How do you numb yourself from discomfort?
  • What beliefs or "shoulds" do you cling to?
  • What behaviors do you engage in (or avoid) to keep the issue in place?
  • What are you trying to control that is not in your control?
  • What do you believe you do not have enough of?
  • What agreements do you need to make or break with yourself or others?
  • What do you have to be afraid of?

By going through these steps and questions, you can move from a reactive state to a proactive and conscious state of leadership, focusing on learning and growth rather than defending your position.