My 93 year old dad is with a big depression. How can. I help him?

Based on the insights from executive coach Ed Batista, while I cannot offer medical advice or a specific solution for depression, especially given the complexity of mental health in the elderly, I can provide some general thoughts that might be helpful in supporting your father.

  1. Attention and Acknowledgment: As Batista discusses, attention is a powerful social tool. People crave attention and acknowledgment, and the absence of it can lead to negative emotions (Why We Crave Attention). In the context of your father, ensuring that he feels seen, heard, and that his experiences are validated can be important. This means actively listening to him, acknowledging his feelings without judgment, and conveying that his thoughts and emotions matter.

  2. Creating Psychological Safety: Batista emphasizes the importance of psychological safety, which is the feeling that one can express themselves without fear of negative consequences (Hammering Eggs). This can be particularly important for someone dealing with depression, as they may feel vulnerable in expressing their feelings. Creating an environment where your father feels safe to share his concerns can encourage open communication and potentially alleviate some of the isolation he may feel.

  3. Mindfulness and Presence: Batista notes that mindfulness practices can help with emotion regulation and attention management (The Siren Call of Constant Data). While mindfulness is not a cure for depression, engaging in mindfulness activities with your father, such as meditation or simply spending quiet time together, may provide moments of calm and presence, offering a break from distressing thoughts.

  4. Acceptance and Resilience: In "Three Painful Truths," Batista discusses the concept of acceptance as a way of dealing with life's challenges. Encouraging your father to accept his current emotional state without self-judgment can be a step towards coping with his feelings. Additionally, developing resilience can help navigate through tough times, although this is a process and may require support from mental health professionals.

  5. Heroic Projects and Purpose: Batista talks about "heroic projects" as a way individuals strive to make a difference and leave a legacy (Three Painful Truths). Helping your father find small, meaningful projects or activities that give him a sense of purpose and contribution may provide a sense of accomplishment and value.

  6. Professional Support: Finally, it's crucial to recognize that depression, particularly in the elderly, often requires professional support. Encouraging your father to seek help from a mental health professional who specializes in geriatric psychology can provide him with the tailored assistance he may need.

It's important to remember that these are general strategies and may not be suitable for everyone. Depression is a serious condition, and the guidance of a healthcare professional is essential in managing it effectively.